I prayed earlier tonight - like 7 hours ago now - for some specific things that have been bubbling up in my prayers. They fell into two categories: What do I want (need)? How do I get what I want/need?
Answering the first question were 6 things: a direction; a pastor/spiritual director (why can't pastors be pastored?) and community; a job; and release from 3 things that hold me back and get in the way (fear, debt, weight).
Lots of answers to the second question - lots of brainstorming - the first answer for each of the six things, though, was prayer. Bathing them in prayer.
I have to say, here, that I've always struggled to pray, or to believe in it. But my prayer life has really grown and expanded in the last couple of years, and the sense that God is working and moving has grown - rather, the sense that I'm alive and awake enough to detect him working and moving.
Anyway - that was about 7 hours ago.
About half an hour ago - something shifted. There's has been a lot of ferment in my spirit and psyche in the last year and a half. A lot of excitement about what God is doing, a lot of frustration that the most exciting things seemed to be somewhere other than where I am.
It might be that it was 1 am. But it feels like something shifted. That prayer was answered. A thought popped into my mind, fully formed, that would address those 6 things I prayed for head on. They made a synthesis and came together into a whole.
That's all I'm going to say about it - it's late, and it's a stunning notion, two weeks ago it would've been inconceivable. And a lot of people will need to weigh in on it, if after sleep and further prayer it still seems like what it does now - which is Providence.
But if you're reading this blog, and you're not opposed to prayer - then I ask that you start praying for me like crazy. This is big, exciting, and insane. And maybe completely off-base.
I'm having a grand time though. Night!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Prayin' like Crazy
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4 comments:
Good morning, Chris - hope you're still sleeping :). Question for you as I join in the prayers: what are you looking for when you say pastor/spiritual director?
Still sleeping? Oh, sure - went to bed around 3-3:30 am, got up at 7:45 am - plenty of sleep! Thank goodness for Sunday afternoon naps.
I started to answer your question on pastoring and spiritual direction, but it got long, so I'm making a separate post. Apparently I had a good bit to say about it. :)
Sounds great, Chris. I've been having some rough times lately, by a long shot. But there's been some help today, for which I thank God a lot. Hope you find something even better.
Well written article.
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